I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
