I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Damn victory sex feels great
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
