I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
