I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
should my penis look like a turkey
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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