Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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