Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm experimenting with sincerity
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
