big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
