I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
