im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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