Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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