Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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