More tranny stories later!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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