She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
