if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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