I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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