i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize