I'm lost and stupid without you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
