I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
