then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
