my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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