I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
