No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
