im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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