If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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