I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
