Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
