let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
