the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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