Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
