i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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