i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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