I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
