Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
