how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
bring money and cleavage
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
