fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
