Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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