I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is Oprah even human
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize