I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
