Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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