The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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