Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
