Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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