wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
