after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
