there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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