morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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