i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
