I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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