I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All I want is dick and wine.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
