I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
