is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
