found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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