You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
