craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
