I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
