He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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