Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
