OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize