I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
