i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
