Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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