I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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