i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
