i will never coherently bang her
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's the barista slut.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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