ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize