The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
