is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
