She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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