How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
